I’ve EXPELLED myself

Ladies and Gentlemen, I have finally decided to call it quits. For a few years, now, I have been communicating science to the public, in my old column, on this blog, and with my radio show/podcast. But now it must all come to an end. Am I too busy with grad school? Is Ariela tired of getting me to come to bed on time? Or have I realized that all this time, I’ve been dead, dead, wrong?

I’ve been wrong all this time. Science is worthless. I’ve been depending on it for emotional support for years, and it has finally made me realize that I seek the warmth of comfortable ignorance. It is really the only way to go for me, and I have wasted too much time trying to understand the world, for the world defies understanding.

Effective immediately, I am expelling myself from my own blog. For the year that remains on my website host contract, this blog post will stand as a testament to how deeply wrongfully sorry and sorrowfully wrong I have been. I seek to make amends. Let me tell you how mistaken I have been:

  1. Science cannot be explained to non-specialists. I thought that terms were invented to help us organize our thoughts and create universal understanding, but my youthfulness clouded my better judgement. Terms were invented to create a social heirarchy to allow scientists to control the minds of the unwashed masses. Behind closed doors, they call the public “Sheeple.”
  2. Science disproves astrology. Or so it thought it did. Astrology is still believed by 30 percent of the population, which means that science is wrong. You cannot have 90 million people in this country alone be wrong. It is physically impossible. The chances of that happening are 2^90,000,000 – which is astronomically large.
  3. The creationists are right. There are clear marks of an intelligent designer at work in this universe. I’ve just been blind to it all this time. I got so caught up in evidence and rules of logic and hegemonic terms that I lost sight of the real path to enlightenment – believing. You just have to believe, people. That’s all that stands between you and the truth. Belief.
  4. And I believe that Darwin was ultimately responsible for the Holocaust. In fact, he planned it, and wrote On the Origin of Species for the expressed purpose of causing that to happen. I found this out when digging through his old manuscripts at the Smithsonian last month, he said this:

    I had made up my mind to write no more either about the Jews or against them. But since I learned that these miserable and accursed people do not cease to lure to themselves even us, that is, the Darwinists, I have published this little book, so that I might be found among those who opposed such poisonous activities of the Jews who warned the Darwinists to be on their guard against them.
    Plus, I kick puppies around for fun.

  5. PZ Myers and John Wilkins are right – No Darwin, no Hitler. They have seen the light even as I write this.
  6. Science makes us fat. Nutritional reductionism has brought us five million kinds of sugar and nothing else to speak of. Nutritionists and Food scientists are all in bed with Big Pharma and Arthur Daniels Midland and communist China anyway, and only seek to prove that everything that is bad in this world is instead healthy for you to eat. Oh yeah, and the only way you can eat healthy is by drinking straight fish oil and eating holistic food, you know, with the dirt still on it.
  7. Genetics is false. There is no such thing. I’ve been spending year mixing and playing with small vials of clear liquid, and scientists have been telling me that there’s “DNA” in there. Well guess what, the Emperor has No Clothes. There is no such thing as DNA, it is only based on wishful speculation, and anyone who claims otherwise will be brought in for Questioning by Big Science.
  8. Big Science runs everyone’s lives, really. I dreamed of becoming a technocrat and ruling my own little corner of the world, but alas, I cannot. Once you realize that the wool has been pulled over everyone eyes, your cranial implant sends a signal to The Machine, and it’s all over. Tomorrow, I expect I will be summarily Expelled from UW-Madison for my private beliefs. If only I knew!

I’ll miss all of this, but it’s time to move on. It was seriously cramping my beer time. Well, not really. It’s more like Whiskey Time with a little beer to wash it down. But no, time is really not an issue here – most of the time I’ve been writing, doing my show, sleeping, I’ve been utterly sloshed.

I am putting a stop to this Madness because I cannot in good conscience continue the charade, the fakery, the tomfoolery that is Science. It ruins everything, and solves nothing.

Effective immediately, I’ve decided to put The Inoculated Mind into mothballs indefinitely. Although I’ve enjoyed blogging, I find it distracts from more pressing work that I need to get done. I have expelled myself from my own blog, because sooner or later, Big Science will get me anyway.

I am considering allowing a volunteer to stay on and continue blogging here, if you are interested hit me up at karl AT inoculatedmind DOT com. Until next time we meet, keep your minds closed. It’s better that way.

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Karl Haro von Mogel

Karl Haro von Mogel serves as BFI’s Director of Science and Media and as Co-Executive Editor of the Biofortified Blog. He has a PhD in Plant Breeding and Plant Genetics from UW-Madison with a minor in Life Sciences Communication. He is currently a Postdoctoral Scholar researching citrus genetics at UC Riverside.

4 thoughts on “I’ve EXPELLED myself”

  1. ROFLMAO

    noice.

    say hello to that old bugger, Big Science for me, would ya?

    been a long time since I’ve tossed a few back with ’em.

    Cthulhu’s blessing:

    May you and yours be eaten first.

    cheers and good luck.

    :p

    Like

  2. Brother Mogel-

    Most Christians–basically, your rank and file statue worshipers- will welcome your conversion and forgive your transgressions, but real Christians will not as you have Consorted far too long with the Dark Side.

    BTW, you forgot to mention that Science delivered Nutrisweet unto this World, which causes all sorts of malady including dyslexia, presbyopia, turgid stools and Addictions and Convulsions. The latter are what the Elect refer to as ‘The Demon’s Jig’ and, obviously, are not to be taken lightly.

    Like

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